JK/NKK 127
àndariy a:yès tsöndarày ga:ra:n,
ga:ra:n a:yès hihè hih |
tsày he na:ra:n, tsày he na:ra:n,
tsày he na:ra:n yim kam vih ||
I went within,
looking for the
(mystic) moon,
I came out searching
for the same.
But it was You,
O Narayana,
all was You.
Why all these rôles?
Note: In the poem, Lalla does not use the word "mystic," but it is understood that she is not searching within for the ordinary moon. She is referring to a stage of the kundalini experience in which one sees an inner "moon" in the sahasrara chakra, from which drips a nectar known as "shashikal," the "digit of the moon," mentioned several times in these poems. When she looks for a similar experience in the outer world, she finds that everything is the all-pervading Narayana, who is also Shiva. Lalla's choice of the name "Narayana" is thought-provoking. It is a deity name generally used by Vaishnavas (worshippers of Vishnu), but here it is used by Lalla, the Shaivite. I would translate "Narayana" as "the One whose vehicle is a personal (or human) form." It is frequently used as a name of Krishna. Lalla may have written this poem during one of the periods when she was being strongly influenced by the Bhagavad Gita. She has referred, elsewhere, to such influence.
ॐ नमः शिवाय ॐ
